Suitors

Since this past Saturday, I have had several guys show interest in me. I think guys (gay and straight) can smell when someone just ended a relationship...we must give off a pheromone that makes us prime targets. I didn't take them up on their offers because I have some unresolved business with the other guy, but maybe sometime in the future I will give one (or all) of them a call.

I think I may not date for a while because I am still not sure what I want in a guy. I think that I am at the point where I would like to have a partner and settle down, but you have to go through a lot just to find that person. I thought found that person once but after a couple of years I found that they just weren't ready to make a commitment. I find myself in a awkward position; I am black male that like men of all races BUT I find myself not being "black" enough to appeal to those who like black men. I am not "ghetto" "urban" because I speak in proper english (unless you piss me off); I wear clothes from the Gap, Banana Republic, LaCoste, and Kenneth Cole; and I don't play "ball". I think the whole stereotype of the black man is becoming a bit antiquated because the mannerisms are being adopted by other races. With that said, I do feel like hyprocite because I have yet to date someone who is black. It's not that I don't like black men. I do. But...here is my confession...I tend to like thuggy (is that a word?) guys but they tend to have a lot of baggage. [(not so private) message to SuperBlu: Think of the guy who was in my graduate program. You played basketball with him on several occasions. I am not saying he is gay, though. But I am/was suspicious.]

Maybe I should reconsider this whole "gay" thing? I think I can overcome my fear of the vagina ... ugh, I think I just threw up in my mouth a bit. If Tom Cruise (and allegedly Will Smith, Johnny Gill, and Eddie Murphy) can do it, then so can I.