Journey to Mississippi: Part One
I was debating on whether I should make a post today. It is 06.06.06 (read 666) which has some very ominous origins, but it is also my dad's birthday. The day has significance so I have decided to post.
About a week ago I had to make the trek to Columbus, Mississippi to see me dad for the last time. My dad's is originally from Columbus but lived in Syracuse, NY for about 35 years, so I assumed that my dad would be buried in Syracuse. But my dad's sister had other plans. She basically made the decision that he was going to be buried in Columbus without consulting anyone, and when I my family (my mom, brother, and sister) called her on the this she did haven't any compassion for us. As a middle ground I came up with an idea to have services in Syracuse and in Columbus, thenhave my dad cremated so that the ashes could be buried in both cities. Upon tell her this, she dropped a bombshell ... his "WIFE" had the right to make the arrangements, not the children.
The fact that my Dad was still married, was not a total shock because he told me a while back. But the fact my dad's sister would now bring this up pissed me off. It turned out that she was friends with the "wife" that has been absent for over 30 years, but she now wanted to assert her legal rights over my dad. There was a rumor that my dad and the "wife" got a divorce but there was no paperwork. My sister and I scoured public records to find some proof of this only to come up empty. After this ordeal, I was fed up with my dad's family and I didn't want to see them. But I fully intended to see my dad for the last time.
I drove from Dallas, TX to Memphis, TN where I stayed the night. From Memphis, I drove about 3 hours to Columbus, MS for my dad's wake. It was set to start at 5pm, so I decided to get there around 3pm so I wouldn't have to deal with my dad's family. The closer I got to Columbus the sicker I felt because I wasn't quite sure how I was going to react when I saw my dad in a coffin. After a few wrong turns, I finally made it to funeral home that prepared my dad. I told the director who I was and who I want to see and I was lead to a room in the back of the building. I walked into the room and I prepared myself for the worst. I saw my dad ... and nothing.
I didn't cry and I was sort of relieved. The last time I saw my dad before he left for Columbus I was physically shocked on how he looked because he didn't look well at all. Now, he finally looked healthy. I know that sounds odd considering the circumstance, but I was just happy that he looked good. I was there just looking at my dad, cleaning off his suit, and straightening his tie. While doing this my mom called me on my cell phone. Since I was there only person there I decided to take the call. I ended up describing everything to my mom and to let her know that I was okay. My brother was suppose to come with me, but he back out the day before the trip and decided to hold a memorial in Syracuse. So there I was ... alone with my dad for the last time. Before I left I put a few things in his suit pocket: one of my baby pictures, and my score sheet from my first professional bowling tournament that he attended.
On my way out I asked to see the program for the funeral service. It was laying on a desk and underneath there was this picture:
That's my dad holding me on the day I was born. My mom called me a couple of days prior asking if I knew where this picture was located. I thought I had a copy in my baby book, but she was unable to find it. It turns out my dad still has the original 8"x10". But it was interesting to find that on the back of the photo there was a different name for me. My dad and I have similar names, but there are two differences: there is an "on" on his first name, and he doesn't have middle name. On the picture I was a "Jr.". I don't know ... I just found that interesting. Just like my dad told me that he should have a different last name because he ended getting the last name of his mother and not his father. I never delved deep into this ... but maybe I should have.
About a week ago I had to make the trek to Columbus, Mississippi to see me dad for the last time. My dad's is originally from Columbus but lived in Syracuse, NY for about 35 years, so I assumed that my dad would be buried in Syracuse. But my dad's sister had other plans. She basically made the decision that he was going to be buried in Columbus without consulting anyone, and when I my family (my mom, brother, and sister) called her on the this she did haven't any compassion for us. As a middle ground I came up with an idea to have services in Syracuse and in Columbus, thenhave my dad cremated so that the ashes could be buried in both cities. Upon tell her this, she dropped a bombshell ... his "WIFE" had the right to make the arrangements, not the children.
The fact that my Dad was still married, was not a total shock because he told me a while back. But the fact my dad's sister would now bring this up pissed me off. It turned out that she was friends with the "wife" that has been absent for over 30 years, but she now wanted to assert her legal rights over my dad. There was a rumor that my dad and the "wife" got a divorce but there was no paperwork. My sister and I scoured public records to find some proof of this only to come up empty. After this ordeal, I was fed up with my dad's family and I didn't want to see them. But I fully intended to see my dad for the last time.
I drove from Dallas, TX to Memphis, TN where I stayed the night. From Memphis, I drove about 3 hours to Columbus, MS for my dad's wake. It was set to start at 5pm, so I decided to get there around 3pm so I wouldn't have to deal with my dad's family. The closer I got to Columbus the sicker I felt because I wasn't quite sure how I was going to react when I saw my dad in a coffin. After a few wrong turns, I finally made it to funeral home that prepared my dad. I told the director who I was and who I want to see and I was lead to a room in the back of the building. I walked into the room and I prepared myself for the worst. I saw my dad ... and nothing.
I didn't cry and I was sort of relieved. The last time I saw my dad before he left for Columbus I was physically shocked on how he looked because he didn't look well at all. Now, he finally looked healthy. I know that sounds odd considering the circumstance, but I was just happy that he looked good. I was there just looking at my dad, cleaning off his suit, and straightening his tie. While doing this my mom called me on my cell phone. Since I was there only person there I decided to take the call. I ended up describing everything to my mom and to let her know that I was okay. My brother was suppose to come with me, but he back out the day before the trip and decided to hold a memorial in Syracuse. So there I was ... alone with my dad for the last time. Before I left I put a few things in his suit pocket: one of my baby pictures, and my score sheet from my first professional bowling tournament that he attended.
On my way out I asked to see the program for the funeral service. It was laying on a desk and underneath there was this picture:
That's my dad holding me on the day I was born. My mom called me a couple of days prior asking if I knew where this picture was located. I thought I had a copy in my baby book, but she was unable to find it. It turns out my dad still has the original 8"x10". But it was interesting to find that on the back of the photo there was a different name for me. My dad and I have similar names, but there are two differences: there is an "on" on his first name, and he doesn't have middle name. On the picture I was a "Jr.". I don't know ... I just found that interesting. Just like my dad told me that he should have a different last name because he ended getting the last name of his mother and not his father. I never delved deep into this ... but maybe I should have.
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