Journey to Mississippi: Part Two

Before my dad left Syracuse, he told me and my mom that he had left me a life insurance policy for [sum removed] dollars. I never really cared about it because I didn't want to think about it the prospect of my dad dying. So now that he has my mom reminded me of the policy. The thing is that there has never been any kind of documentation regarding said policy. Even though there is no proof, I got caught up in the prospect of there being a policy and what I would do with the money. I would be able to pay off all my student loans and other miscellaneous bills, but just thinking about the money for a split second made me feel bad. I am kind of relieved that this issue has passed because I wouldn't want the dilemma of figuring out what I should do with the money. But I wonder why my dad told me this without giving me any kind of documentation? My housemate suggested that I hire a private detective to search the insurance agencies to see if a policy actually existed for my dad. At this point it is not important, but maybe in the future.

Yesterday was my first day back at work, and I was still kind of in the dumps. I just dreaded people coming up to me and telling me how sorry they are to hear about my dad. I had about three people come up to me, and it wasn't that bad. What would be the normal responds for this situation? You sort of have to put on a brave smile and tell them "thank you" but in my case it is just making the situation more real. I have been sort of in a disbelief but the more I am reminded that my dad is gone the more it hurts because the reality of it all is setting in. It is hard to refer to my dad in the past tense ... but I guess I will have to get used to it.

At some point thing will begin to feel like normal, but I am not sure how long that will take.