The Journey Home

I went back home to this weekend to see family and friends before I start my journey to Dallas in a few days. It was odd going back to Syracuse. I haven't been home since I stopped by on my way Utica for work. After 2 hours on the newly priced toll road, I was back in my home city.

My first day back, I went to visit my home away from home -- my best friend house. I haven't seen my friend and his family since Christmas, so it was nice to seem them all again. We caught up on each other's lives, and remembered some past moments for few hours until dinner was ready. I took the seat that I have been sitting at for the past 11 years and I sort of had a flashback to when I was 15 years old. My chair faced the backyard and I saw the tiny shrubs I helped plant years ago are now a least 20 feet tall. I mentioned how much they have changed, and my friend's mom retrieved an old photo album of us planting them.

Friend's brother: "Did you guys use a hole digger for the shrubs?"
Me: "No, we were the hole diggers!"
All: [laughter]

My best friend is now married and moving into a new house in a couple of weeks, and I am moving away to Texas. When did we grow up? When did we become adults? After we talked and ate at the dinner table, my friend's parents decided to head off to bed. Before they did, the mom opened up a cabinet, pulled out a card and gave it to me. "Congratulations and Good Luck" was written on the envelope. With a hug I thanked them for everything, and she made me promise the next time I am in Syracuse I have to come and visit. I said to them I would. With a smile, they were off to bed. I didn't want to open the card until I was alone but my friend wanted to know what was inside. I opened the card, which had money inside, but I was more interested in the message:

"We're so proud to have watched you grow to such a wonderful man. We're even more proud of what you have accomplished!!!"

5 more day until the move.

Changes

I am in the process of moving this blog to a new server, and updating the look. The new address is:

http://blog.killervirgo.com

Update your bookmarks and/or RSS feeds!

Clubbin'

This weekend I received confirmation of my hatred of gay clubs.

I generally don't go out to clubs because I just feel uncomfortable being their because: I don't drink, and I am socially awkward around new people. But I was out of town visiting a good friend of mine so I decided, what the hell. After the endless amount of primping, we finally headed to our destination around midnight. I am the sober one so I was assigned driving duties. I hate driving in new places -- especially when it dark outside -- but after a few wrong turns, when arrived at the club.

Waiting in line with my NYS ID in hand, the club seemed just like any other club I have been to before; variety of guys that all fit into some subgroup standing around checking out the people who are there. After briefly surveying the crowd on Level I, we ascended to Level III where a show was taking place. As we got to the staircase to take us to the top level, my friend was stopped because he lacked appropriate attire. He looked good -- because he spent 40 minutes in the bathroon getting ready, while I began to drift into slumber waiting -- but he lacked a key accessory to gain entrance. I think that my ensemble was fine, but I wasn't going to leave my friend behind the velvet rope. So we stayed on Level II.

We made our way to the bar where I got my soda and like the wallflower that I am, I stood with my hand my pocket watching everyone. As I sipped my [caffeine-free lemon-lime beverage] I viewed the people on the dance floor in the center of the room. [sidenote: Ok, I have to say this, because I think it should be said. Not all gay men can dance. I'm not greatest of dancers, but I can find the beat and move accordingly. But there are some people who can not find the beat, but still are willing to get in front of people. This decision may or may not be induced by a narcotic that removes all inhibitions, but I applaud them because I am too self-conscious.] The music is probably typical of what you would hear in any guy club but it wasn't doing anything for me. It is hard to get into music that is over 100 beats per minute with a constant thumping which seems to sound the same on every song. When I hear a song that I like that has be altered so much that it is barely recognizable, it makes me want to listen to the original. Time to switch locations.

Five minutes later, we traveled a distance of about 15 feet to our new location against a wall check out the scenery. And this is where things started to get interesting. I guess that sharks started to smell the fresh meat because I started get some looks. Not sound boastful, but there were a least four kept looking at me. I decided not to give any direct eye contact because I thought that would be best, considering that I wasn't looking to meet anyone. Staring is the non-verbal communcation that signals the other person of possible interest, but it should be avoided if you/they don't want to reciprocate. If any one of the guys came up and started a conversation with me, I would oblige them. And if during the conversation their intentions became seedy I would have to politely excused myself. I have tendency to be prudish, but that's who I am. While on the topic of being prude, why I am still made uncomfortable by two guys kissing? Anyway. Trying to avoid looking into the eyes of a guy in a white wifebeater, the house lights came up.

2 a.m., time for everyone to head home -- your own or the person's you met that night. With my eyes burning from the smoke of cancer sticks, also reffered to as fags in the UK, we headed for the exit. You don't appreciate the the NYS smoking ban in public places until you leave the state. Now in the brisk but relatively clean air, the night was drawing to a close.

3 a.m., feeling a bit peckish my friend and I decided to go out grab a bite to eat. He had the turkey sandwich, while I had the Oreo Sundae -- because I am trying to keep it healthy. We noticed a waiter wearing the tightest pants, ever. Thinking of how he even got into those pants, I had a couple of thoughts: did he forget his pants at home, so he had to borrow a pair from a female co-worker?; Since the clientele was mostly gay, was he trying to get better tips? Too many thoughts, so I just ate my sundae while playing a rousing game of "Is he (are they) gay?" There is never a winner, but it is good fun.

4 a.m., soundly asleep.

The Girl Who Wins It All.

In a past post I predicted that Naima would win America's Next Top Model - Cycle 4, and I was right. I have been reading at lot of spoilers for the season and they turned out to be 100% accurate until the final four. The presumed winner was Kahlen, which cause me to think that the whole show was fixed so that another minority would not win after Eva won last cycle. But they spoilers were wrong and the best person, in my opinion, won the show. However, the win is a double edge sword. She is now stuck in a crap contract with Cover Girl, UPN, and Tyra Banks' production company.

Anyway ... good luck Naima and I hope, for you sake that you will not end a Reality TV show has been.

Graduation

It has been two days since I had my graduation, and I think today I have fully recovered from the experience. My graduate graduation was a lot better than my undergrad because I knew all of the the people I was graduating with. During my undergrad commencement I was stuck in the middle of two friends who proceeded to have a conversation around me, making me feel invisible. At my grad graduation, I got to catch up with people that I haven't seen in a while. Some graduated last summer but didn't get a chance to walk the stage so they came back for the opportunity. Eventhough I was receiving my master's degree, I was unable (or anyone else) to put on my master's hood. "How many graduate students does it take to put on a master's hood?" was a joke that we referenced throughout the day -- by the way it takes 4 graduate students. After that ordeal was taking care of it was smooth sailing. The ceremony was very nice and brief.

Later that day went to the Seneca Niagara Casino with a good friend who came to visit me and to attend my graduation. I have never been to a casino, nor ever wanted to, but I after hearing about the buffet I decided to check it out. We entered the casino after having our ID check by security (which was flattering) and I was greeted by a plume of smoke from various tabacco products. We walked around the place to get a look at all of the games they had to offer, then headed to the buffet to get some food because we were famished. There was an extremely long line, but we had to get a reservation just to have the privilege to wait in that line. There was an hour to killed before we stuffed ourselve into semi-consciousness so we decided to gamble. I gave myself a limit of $20 to spend and planned to use it on the quarter and nickel slot machines. Since I don't know how to play Poker and have a limited knowledge of Blackjack, I thought the slots were a safe bet. After splitting off from my friend I found a quarter slot machine and I decided it to give it a whirl. I started off with $1, and in 3 tries I was up to $40. I kept playing until I lost $10 of my winnings then I decided to quit while I was ahead. But the slots kept calling me ... so I ended up losing another $10. Disappointed, I went to find my friend and head to dinner before I lost all of my newly acquired money. We waited in the buffet line for about 20 minutes before we got the entrance to pay for our meal. Paying for the meal became a game in itself. My friend never allows me to pay for anything so before we got the the register I whipped out my credit card and foisted it upon the cashier. He already had his card in his hand so luckily the chose me. We ate, talked, stared at one another to see if we could make the other uncomfortable, and had a good time.

So that was my graduation weekend.

Sellout

I am typing this post on my new Apple iBook after I swore that I would never own an Apple product (besides an iPod). BUT, after seeing a friend of mine with his Apple Powerbook with the Mac OS "Tiger", I decided that I should get some kind of knowledge of how Apple computers work.

The last time I used a Apple computer was over a year ago in my department's computer lab. Other than that, I avoided them like the plague. After playing around with my new iBook I have to say that, they aren't bad. I decided have an Apple will force me to use it, which in turn, will help me gain knowledge on how they work. My career is in IT so not having knowledge on Apple systems could hurt me in the long run. I will be able to become familiar with the products (hardware and software) and the Operating System. So I see this purchase as an investment.

With my new laptop, there has been a family computer exchange. I will post a flowchart of the entire process when I fully understand what's going on. But for now...I am off to bed.

DAMN YOU [name removed, but you know who you are.] FOR MAKING ME GET AN APPLE!

Complete

I am finally done with all my assignments and I am ready to partcipate in my graduation ceremony next week. I bought my cap, gown and hood 3 months ago because I told that by my department that I HAD to buy them. Appartenly there was a big sale that we could not missed, but in all, I only saved about 4 dollars. And even after 3 months, I still have NO idea how to put on the hood. I guess I will find out just before the ceremony.

I guess I am not totally complete with school, though. I have a ton of a forms to fill out: Application for Candidancy, loan exiting, apartment lease release, etc... I am desperately trying to get out of the last two months of my apartment lease but it is iron clad. I think I may have to whip up some tears and be all histrionic. I have 4 weeks, so I better do something -- fast. If not, I will just have to pay for those two months.

I got some boxes from work that are the perfect size for shipping. Most of the stuff I am going to ship are clothes, but I think I will bring the bulk of my wardrobe in the car. Since I am expecting the weather to be warm so I will just be wearing shorts throughtout the duration of the 2 day trip. Plus, I will be sitting for 20+ hours so I don't think jeans will be comfortable after that amount of time. I plan on purging a lot of belongs because I tend to collect things just in the off chance I might need them. Why would I need 2 broken CD players, a cellphone that doesn't work. and term papers I wrote in high school? I don't know, which is why I am getting rid of them.

Hopefully from now until I leave there won't be any surprises.

My Righteous Resignation

This past Friday I let my supervisor know that I planned on leaving the company on June 1. But before I got a chance to do this, there was a bit of drama.

Friday morning one of co-workers asked my help on a problem that he could figure out. So I decided to take it upon myself just to do it for him because he looked busy. I was able to solve the problem and preceded to install some software on affected machine. I thought I was doing a good thing, but I was wrong. Upon return to my desk my I approached by my supervisor, and with a hushed tone he asked me if I was having a problem with said co-worker. I explained the ordeal and told him that this has happened several time before. So after conversation ended, I was livid.

It wasn't like I did something devious behind his back. I let him know what I was doing but I guess that wasn't good enough. I guess he harbored some resentment towards me because the day prior we was talking to a user that we clearly frustrated with him and he could careless. I spoke with this user to see if their problem was resolved and they let me know that he [the co-worker] was less than helpful. After better clarification of the user problem I let them know that I would do a follow-up. I was thanked numerous times and had them up and running in less than an hour. I let the co-worker know that I talked to the user and let him know exactly what the problem was how it could be resolved. He didn't look to please with me. He had been short with me the entire week but it wasn't until this past Friday where I just decided to washed my hands of him.

So when it was time to let my supervisor know that I was leaving the company, I sent an e-mail requesting a private meeting. I was going to type up a formal resignation letter, but I thought that would have been a bit much. So during meeting I let him know my intentions of leaving but he told me he saw it coming. He wasn't sure if I called the meeting to complain about the co-workers or since I will be graduating in 2 weeks that I decided to leave to persue other employment. He wished me the best and told me to find a job that will be challenging and not setting for something I am currently doing because he felt I would get bored. He didn't have to say that, but I am glad that he did. After the meeting we broke the new to the other people in the department who also took the news well but playful joked about how bad Dallas is so that I could stay. They let me know if I need any references just let them know and they would be happy to do it.

I like where I work now but it is something I would like to do longterm. I have desires to do something better, professionally and personally, but I would have to move in order to do it. I have never lived more than a couple hours away from my hometown of Syracuse because I have been afraid to "leave the nest."This will be my opportunity to truly be on my own.

June 4, 2005 -- moving day.